Scientists claim to have finally discovered the infamous Higgs Boson, some 50 years after he went missing.
Higgs Boson, the self-proclaimed God particle that brags about being at the very heart of all that matters in the world, was discovered earlier this week after a fifty year search for his whereabouts. It seems he’s been hiding out on a massive rollercoaster somewhere beneath the surface of what scientists are calling ‘Switzerland’.
The discovery has led to a media frenzy, with obvious questions being raised. Why did he go into hiding in the first place? Why has it taken so long to find him? Indeed, was he discovered or did he turn himself in?
Boson is a controversial figure in the science world with some critics suggesting that he may bear responsibility for a major explosion or possibly even series of explosions some years ago, labelled by the tabloids of the day as THE BIG BANG. This week’s discovery may well have gone some way towards convincing some of the more sceptical elements of the community that he does, in fact, exist.
It’s unclear where Boson has been all these years and it seems that reports he was living in a bedsit in Stepney under the pseudonym of Ralf Bennett are a little wide of the mark. Whatever the truth, scientists are thought now to believe that his influence on the world has been marked, even in his apparent exile.
Boson’s re-emergence into the world has also led some to wonder what God might make of it all. There have, for many years now, been whispers that Higgs Boson and God have been somewhat at odds with each other with supporters of both claiming the credit for creating the Universe. God, however moved quickly to dispel any animosity between the pair, in a statement read out by her spokesman, Mr Lionel Ritchie (no, a different one) she made it clear that they were old friends and that his acceptance into the modern world was to be welcomed and that she looked forward to catching up with Boson to find out what’s been the matter all these years.
Boson has yet to make any official comment but sources suggest that he’d be welcome to a meet-up as long as God paid the bill.